Tuesday, 23 February 2010

one arm bandit

i  have not deserted my post but, after having a plastic shoulder inserted,been ejected back  into the world the very next day armed with enough pain killers to finish off a shire horse..i am depleted somewhat in energy. i expect grumpiness to see me through the minor annoyance of being totally dependent on my friend for nearly everything from cutting up my food to adjusting my knickers. it is embarrassing, after yelling vigorously at somebody, to  have to ask them to please put your socks on. and i can't do exclamation marks, even with my elbow because it is  all strapped into a complex sling which i have to wear for six weeks. so woe is me and my friend has taken to playing extended games of solitaire and gnashing her teeth....what can this mean. also manic laughter and deep exasperated sighs have been heard by me along with curses. is this paranoia i ask myself.. i shall watch those pain killers.

Friday, 12 February 2010



I have been threatening myself with blogging for years now - in fact my original publisher set me up with a blog some five years ago. I evaded it.  I must explain my relationship with my computer: to me it is a beloved enemy, one that I have little control over but one that I have this love/hate relationship with. I use it as a sort of word processing tool with email facility. I love my emails and Google, I am happy to download maps, even though I have a problem reading maps.

My computer is the one I scuttle to every morning with a fervour that could be seen as unhealthy. I like to get my words down and in fact I can hardly write in longhand any more. However, my brain does not absorb computer knowledge, it closes down like an obstinate clam at the sight or sound of computer speak. The simplest instruction is lost on me and I feel my mind going off whistling into the distance like an errant teenager - 'I don't care to hear you!' it whistles. 'This is not for me'  it sings. It puts it hands over its ears and scuttles off.

This week I decided that I must do a sneaky move on my mind, come upon it from a new angle, so I got a very efficient, competent woman in to 'teach' me how to blog. We were startled, my brain and me but some knowledge seeped through. As soon as she left I panicked, went onto overdrive or underdrive  and was sure I could never do this. All the stuff she had told me just flew away and I was back at school in a maths class, baffled with brain in flummox mode and a tantrum building up. Then I would draw cartoons of women, hand them round and disrupt the class. (I got a result too, I was allowed to cut maths and do art instead - a result for the teacher too)

Now I could hardly stage a one woman rebellion, there was nobody about to witness it. I badly wanted to hold my teacher responsible but common sense walked in and prevailed and I got a grip. I telephoned my teacher'and she was  patience incarnate, not engaging in my confusion and with humour and kindness sent me emails that I could refer to. In fact I am quite capable of looking at a piece of paper with quite clear instructions and my panic doesn't allow me to see them. I squeak in terror and have reduced my internet provider to near tears when she tried to explain how to get my router organised. I am sure there is a word for this malaise and I refuse to believe it is STUPID,

I shall continue with this process!!

Monday, 8 February 2010


I would very much like to hear from other gabby - or indeed gobby women! I know you are out there and I want you to reveal yourselves and tell me all about it and you. What makes you fume?
What delights you? Do you spot any unfairnesses that hit on the female of the species?Let's talk!